Rest in Peace, Grandpa

My grandpa, Burton Aronoff passed away a couple of weeks ago. Kate and I went down to Fla. to visit him and my grandma and he was already in the hospital when we were planning on going. So, we knew it was only a matter of time. But you still don’t want to admit it.

My grandpa was a very honest man. He was a great storyteller, businessman and husband. My dad in his eulogy said that my grandpa may not have been there for little league games, or scout trips or whatever, but that he was always there supporting his family and the other families that relied on the business he ran to help put food on the table every night.

Kate and I in the last few years, have really come to look to my grandparents as inspiration on how to treat each other in our marriage. We all have our own issues and hang ups and things that make each other mad. My grandma would tell us about how for 50 some years my grandpa would put the paper on his chair instead of on the table when he would get up to come to dinner and it always annoyed her. But that didn’t stop her from loving him any less. She accepted him for who he was. I think that over the years Kate and I have seen that as well, and we’ve come to live the same way.

At the funeral, I was one of the pallbearers.

They opened the door of the hearse, and we lifted my grandpa out of the hearse and walked him up the hill. It was hard. I’ve never had to face death like that. My mom died when I was young, and I don’t think that I actually faced it in a very concrete and real way. This was different. As we took him up the hill, I realized I’d never hear his stories again, I’d never see the interactions between him and my grandma, I’d never again see him shuffling from the car to the restaurant when we’d go out to eat, and I’d never see his patience that he had with every single person I’ve ever seen him interact with.

After the rabbi said a few words, my dad said a few words and I said a few words. I told my grandma how much she and my grandpa meant to kate and I and then they lowered him in the ground. After that, we all took three scoops of dirt from the shovel and started to bury him. I’ve never done that. Ever. And it shook me. As I leaned over the grave, and scooped the dirt onto the shovel I was too weak to break the dirt. I’d have been able to do it if I wasn’t sobbing so much, but I couldn’t muster a lot of strength.

While that was difficult to do, I think that it lent itself to giving a level of closure to the whole thing. I was able to see him, one last time. Kate and I went down there right before he died, we both talked to him, he had his intellect, he knew everything about the world until he passed away and that’s what I like the most. He was extremely smart, and prided himself on his intellect and always having an opinion about something. It’s something us Aronoffs all pride ourselves on, my dad got it from him, and I got it from my dad.

Grandpa, thank you for always encouraging everyone in our family to pursue knowledge.  I love you, and I miss you very much. Don’t worry about Grandma, we’ll all take care of her. I promise.